Acceptance and moving on.

The more wants to distance themselves from a scene, the more the scene comes to them; Especially when those people are your great friends that want to make sure you're happy. So that's what happened yesterday.

It's been a transitional 2 months. A lot of changes happened and also necessary measures to forget and bury a dark chapter in my life. Lots of laughter , joy , bitterness and acceptance happened during the Russian victory day party. Accompanied by good friends, the joy and the feelings are strengthening me again the new changes ahead. Even though Im now with someone I should have been in the first place (circa july 2012) , it's hard to smile like before.After a while i realized that during the fireworks, I was hanging out with the right type of people whom i share the common logic and values, it was becoming clear to me that all the other side was giving me was a bucket of lies and secret preferential likings towards their own. After identifying the hypocrisy and affairs, it was obvious that I needed to move on. 

It was very tough for me to accept one particular thing, how someone whom you cared so much had so many personalities that it would shatter you slowly  til you get to the point that morality is not longer important? I'll probably never see this person again but I learned that the whole experience was a lie and perhaps it was a great act for her, but for me I was there for a serious reason. It should not surprise me the things cheaters do behind one's back and so far this was the 2nd "golddigger" who used sympathy points to get my side to support, but I guess this is how some people live their lives. And I feel that despite yesterday being a great day, I learned to let go for the last time my last thoughts on the deception of the whole thing. It was kinda easy to identify the players of the game, and in the end you realize that you were the naive player being manipulated by a wolf dressed in sheep's clothing. Maybe it was all a big (sick) joke to her and testing out when I would find out...from basketball, ligo 'fun', and a temporary groupie intimacy, or trying out an oldie. I could go on , and I can understand how they keep such friendships intact while she removes the one that wanted to settle with her. I knew more than meets the eye and don't ask how... But the personality is very similar to what I have encountered in the past and their fate will be either good or tragic. I would give my support, but then I would be poisoned again by the truth of insecurities knowing that it cannot be solved.

It's hard to say goodbye, but it's best that the communication remains broken. I no longer have nothing to offer and I realized that my friends were right all along. She has the power to call and confront whatever's on her mind. I don't. I no longer have anything to gain or give from that person now that I understand everything. Love blinded me, but realism kept me at bay.

"I understand now, I understand everything
I have fought against my fate, even though it was in vain
but you, you accepted your fate and you were betrayed at every turn
yet you still set out the path set out for you
even when those betrayals included your own lovers and friends...
Fate is cruel....But in the end I pity you....because i really loved you"

3/27/2013

Happy Birthday to Vicky.

It's amazing how after 5 years, we are still in contact and keeping the flame alive.
I remember when you needed someone, I was always there.
And recently when I was powerless and outnumbered, you appeared unexpectedly as the stronghold.

I am proud to see the woman you have become.

After The Rain

Life can be tough, there are moments that you feel alone and outnumbered. And then there's time to remember the people that were with you and the ones who were your heroes, mentors, and loved ones.

Personally, I feel the storm is coming to an end and a time for change is coming. Although I'm not keen of changes, it's something I have to accept whether I like it or not... Like the saying of a friend of mine "Go Big or Go Home!" , yeah sometimes one has to move out of their comfort zone to be better. I'm happy that the next months more friends are joining my battle.

I miss my grandmother, and I always will. But I've realized that even though she's gone, I gained a trustworthy friend of that same caliber that can help me confront the big leagues at a Summit I will be participating.

This month has been a forceful transition in bringing my former self back in the competitive grounds. Staying with those that value me as friend/family. An Independence from those that guided me wrongly are no more, and it was important to put my priorities back on track.

Now that I'm grateful for the unexpected help, I can say we've got to believe it'll be alright in the end.
I hope I can change the outcome, as I feel that fate has given me a second chance.

Even though I am astounded by the revelation of a former neighbour, I thought that the love of my life was authentic was rather a big lie...With everything I gathered, it became clear that things were going to go downhill from there.

A new Album in the works

1- Catching the Sunlight
2- One in a million
3- Enough
4- Walking The Line
5- Step Closer (I'll see you again)
6- Faith In You
7- Midsummer Fire

all working titles, but the new raw demos need more working and hopefully a great lineup of songs should be in the mix by August.Thank you to my friends that were supporting these months and many thanks for everything for going to the studio. you know who you are :)

Upcoming House warming party at secret location.

We take things as they are

In this colourful day at work, I received my REPORTAGE demo mp3 collection on my e-mail. Also I received my old ViperStudios Mp3 Demos. Things are sounding great.

I might Return to NYC for a  week, and then off to Stockholm and London to finish up some work.

and then I got this on the mail via twitter.

The New Way to the Unknown

After having a turbulent stormy February, the sun rises.

Although the changes brought a chain of events which forced me and some friends to adapt, new opportunities  and friendships appear.

Despite the return of people from an unforgettable and honorable era, all didn't manage to return. There's a lot of reflection, I've been getting messages about my former self

"All those trophies and awards, what are you now?
I'm still the same guy. I got them through hard work and dedication. 
"Will you live up to the shadow of your former self?"
Every era has its people and situations, things are never the same. It would be wiser if you stop focusing of my past accomplishments. 
"Do you feel that you have to live to those expectations?"
I think you should being worried about the criticism on others and ask yourself what you've done in this life to make it worthwhile

epilogue

I understand...I understand everything
I have fought against my fate, even though it was in vain
But...you...you accepted your fate , you were betrayed at every turn

yet you still followed the path set out for you...
even when that betrayal included your own love...

Fate is cruel...In the end , I pity you.